Favorite Patient Quotes

[Matt]

What are some of the funniest things you've had patients say to you while on the job?

Some of my favorites:

• "Sir, I smoke crack cause it makes my lungs feel good".
• "We think I got the heebee geebies so I been eatin' peanut butter balls all day"
• "I was trying to get some stank for my hangdown and she hit me with a smoover (iron)"
• "His head was on fire and looked like pumkin"
• Girl: "I'm bleeding, I need a cigarette, ... s**t, my right hand is gone... Boyfriend: "Honey, I'm all f'ed up too, oh my hand, i'm goin to jail, we can't bowl no mo"

[tattooedparamedic]

My all time favorites are:

Said to me about my redneck partner by a 91 year old confused patient "I'd like to take his pants off and see what he's really made of"

"I'm petting the squirrel, can't you see him??"

[Matt]

Originally Posted by tattooedparamedic

"I'm petting the squirrel, can't you see him??"

Yep, he is over there right next to the flying elephant!

[emt4755]

said by an emt while doing an assessment refering to last oral intake " was it a diet coke".

[ambulancedealer]

had a patient tell me while standing on the corner on a chest pain call "Its me Its me, they told me to call 911" Obviously a fake chest pain call. but she got the works, cause I was bored. Now quick quiz "Who was "they'"